i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
