I think I am morally bankrupt
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
