I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
