I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
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