That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
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