You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
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