best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
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