If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
last night I used snow as a chaser
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
