no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
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