Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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