he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
