i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Randomize
