thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
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