hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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