carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
