This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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