but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
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I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
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this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
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