I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
