sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Randomize
