Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
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