In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Randomize
