i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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