Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
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Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
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He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
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