don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Randomize