know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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