I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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