I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Randomize
