i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
