Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
