This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
