garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
We smell like vodka and hangover
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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