my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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