Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
