Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
