Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
