Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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