I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
