Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
