i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
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you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
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That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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