i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Randomize
