Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
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