You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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