the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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