PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
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