If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
