I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
