my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
