I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Randomize
