If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
wow bdsm is so cute
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Randomize
