Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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