Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Randomize
