two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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