She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Come see our sink grown plant.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Randomize
