Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
